Current 3rd graders were tasked with writing a letter to the incoming class of 2011-12 telling them about things in 3rd grade they can expect. Sean wrote this. I thought the last part was hilarious but his final draft which was given to the 2nd graders excluded this cos his teacher said she didn't want them to think she was evil :D
29 May 2011
Dear Future Third Graders,
As you get older, you are getting smarter. You are improving little by little every day. Now you have approached an alarmingly important grade. You need to start preparing for middle school. Everything will be tougher: the teachers, the classmates, and especially the work. So here is some acceptable advice that will hopefully help you survive.
First of all, you need to follow rules such as not talking, not playing in class, and sitting on the red mat. Secondly, you will have Word Study every week. The teacher will explain to you what Word Study is. It occurs every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. You will also need to be honest or you just might wind up in Mr Gerritz's office. Mr Gerritz is the head of school, so be careful. You also need to do what the teacher tells you to do or she/he just might annihilate you.
Everyday, you will have Math, Writing, Reading, and Social Studies/Science. In Math, you will have to do exactly what the teacher and Math book both tell you and you have to read the directions and instructions well or else you will get a completely wrong answer. You will also learn how to do different ways of adding and subtracting. In Writing, you will need correct spacing, correct spelling, correct grammar, correct punctuation, and even correct capitalization. In Reading, you will have to keep track of things you learn and think abotu the book/books you are reading in your Reading Notebook.
You will need to collaborate and cooperate with other people. Collaborate and cooperate both mean the same thing, so you will only need to look up one of those words in the dictionary. You will need to be joyful and helpful or the teacher will throw you out the window straight into Siberia. You need to bring your brains to school otherwise the teacher will dissect you without anaesthetics to give the others an anatomy lesson. You need to be respectful to the teacher or she will lock you in the dungeons and fill it up with molten magma. You need to have friends or else you will be all alone and everybody will put you in a giant freezer and leave you there to perish. You need to be able to choose just right books or else the teacher will cut your head off with a bookmark. You need to bring your homework back to school or else the teacher will smash the Smart Board on you. You need to bring your reading log back to school or your teacher will sharpen your head with an electric sharpener.
I know this sounds like too much to handle and too many possibilities of death, but trust me, if I can live, you can.