Sean has been writing stories in school again. This one was done over about 3 days in school. He had told me he was writing a story about a snowflake. After a couple of days, I asked him if he was ending the story, he said no, he was still writing it. This was hurriedly ended yesterday after the teacher told him to finish up his story. Perhaps his teacher wanted everyone's work done before today's Parent-teacher meeting. I understand he has an unfinished Tortoise and Ants story...a work in progress.
Anyway, here it is, a story about Hexy the Snowflake. There are no paragraphs in his story but there are breaks here to incorporate the photos. I've also added in italic little notes of my own, stuff I had asked him to clarify.
Full Title: Hexy's Wonderful Winter (but in the second part he didn't like it.)
Wheeeee! Hexy loved falling, especially with all of his friends. The sights were amazing. He saw a mini castle which had kids on it, chains attached to tyres, a gigantic spiderweb...Hey! This place looked familiar. Aha! I knew it! I'm in AAS, the best school that anyone had ever been to. THUMP! He landed on an interesting paper held by a certain person wearing glasses and had a green and black jacket. Hmmm...said an intrigued Hexy. Bose-Einstein Condensate? What is it? The fifth state of matter? (Note: Hexy was reading the paper held by the person wearing glasses...no prizes for guessing who it is.)
How are its atoms arranged? Oooooh! The atoms clump toge-FFFFFFT! A strong wind blew Hexy away and broke one of his bones. ARRRGH! screamed Hexy. RUMBLE went hungry Hexy's stomach. Faster and faster Hexy went until...BOOM! he broke the sound barrier! He was in space now, far above the heliopause (Note: Sean explains, Heliopause is the outer-most area of the Oort Cloud...and the Oort cloud is the part of the solar system that didn't form planets, that's where all comets come from; from my googling, Oort Cloud is a large sphere surrounding our solar system, considered to be the maximum range of our sun's gravitational influence.). But Hexy was still going fast. He was heading for a black patch which seemed to be sucking stars inside it. He was going to a BLACK HOLE!
Help! cried Hexy. VVVVVVVV...Hexy was reaching the event horizon (Note: Sean explains, event horizon is the point of the Black Hole where nothing, not even light, can escape) of the black hole. VVVVVVVVV...Nearer and nearer Hexy came. VVVVVVVVV...Hexy was very scared. VVVVV...PSSEEOUW! Oh no! Hexy got sucked into the black hole! Luckily Hexy's atoms reassembled themselves to make Hexy again.
Hexy saw wonderful shapes. He saw a cube, a tetrahedron, an S shape, a spiral, two pentagon-based pyramids stuck together tightly, a vase, a few megastars and a humongous atom. (Note: At the top left corner is Hexy, the top half of Hexy, that is, and the dots below that is Hexy's atoms reassembling; at first I thought it was the school swing or something).Suddenly, Hexy saw AAS...in the black hole! Oh no! said Hexy. I have to save them! With super speed, Hexy grabbed some indigo yarn, tied it around the school and, holding the yarn, shot out of the black hole like a bullet. ZOOM! went Hexy. The Earth looked bigger...and bigger...and then it looked HUMONGOUS.
With a KER-WHUMP and a BOOM the school landed back to its original position. Phew! Hexy wiped his sweat off. That sure was pretty fast. Little did he realize that in his later life he would encounter speed way faster than that. Hexy had just recovered from his broken bone when a laser gun fell to the ground with a WUMP and bounced into Hexy's hand.
It was quite heavy at first but for the next 5 weeks or so, it got easier and easier and easier to hold until it seemed as light as a feather (Note: He meanders a lot here, obviously losing the plot d). After Hexy's delicious lunch he got whisked away by a colourful gust of wind (Note: I asked him, why is the snowflake having lunch? Were you having lunch when you wrote this? He said, well, snowflakes have lunch, it's just that we're never outside during lunch to see them having their lunch.) Luckily Hexy was somehow hovering over the beautiful wind because Hexy soon realized the gust of wind was a lot of different plasmas cleverly mixed together.
He touched the plasma (Note: Big blob in picture is plasma) and POOF! He had a hard plast (typo: plastic) container around him! Soon it was spring. Hexy enjoyed watching his friends fall as raindrops and evaporating slowly into the air. Then it was autumn. The wind blew Hexy's container. Hexy rolled and rolled and rolled. Soon after it was winter and Hexy came out of his container. Holding his container, Hexy was blown away. "I wonder what things I will see today," said Hexy in that cold, winter morning.
The End (this is only Part 1, Sean says)
Having seen his story, Ms Jayne says she will be teaching him about planning story plots, not meandering, paragraphing, and possibly moving towards cursive writing (which he already has handwriting worksheets on). Lots to work on for the little fella.