Friday, October 23, 2009

Shouting: The New Spanking

So I've been doing a lot of the New Spanking since I stopped the Old Spanking (or Caning in our house) for a very long time now (My New Spanking always involves threatening to do the Old Spanking :)). I knew I should start reining in this bad shouting habit after I saw Sean just glancing sideways at me angrily when I shouted at him recently. Times like these, he seems a lot older than he really is and I don't really like what I see.

And feeling somewhat guilty after reading this facebook link from Hsien, I called out to Sean while preparing his lunch box this morning.

Sean: Yes?
Me: I love you.
Sean: I love you too.
Me: There's something else. Come here.
Sean: What is it?
Me (facing him ever so seriously and lovingly): I'm sorry I've been yelling at you so much okay?
Sean looks at me and says quietly: I know. (Note: Brian would have said it's okay mummy)
Me: Hmm...but you know why I yell right?
Sean: No.
Me: Because you don't do all the things I ask you to do.
Sean: But why do you have to do it in a loud voice?
Me (Er moment): Because if I don't yell, you won't remember to do it the next time.
Sean: If you yell at me, I might not want to remember it.

Shikes, dunno what to say anymore.


monlim said...

Quite telling isn't it, that Brian feels he needs to reassure you while Sean goes for self-preservation! He's so honest it's endearing :) But aiyah, not to shout is really easier said than done! I do it way too often too :(

Lilian said...

Were you like Brian too? Wonder how he really feels inside though. With Sean, you never have to guess, what you see is what you get, he'll never say anything he doesn't mean.

Since coming back, my shouting has intensified, I think it's a settling-in thing. Everything's moving along nicely now and I feel less edgy, so hopefully less shouting. And when I shout, it's not just normal shouting, it's like crazy banshee screaming type *shudder* My poor kids :(

monlim said...

It's stress lah! I do that too, at the slightest provocation, when I have too many things on my plate. Re: Brian, I dunno what my response would've been back then, my parents never apologised to us for anything!!

Lilian said...

I don't remember shouting as much the entire 3.5 months in Singapore as I did this past week :) You're right, it's stress, just that I was also stressed in Singapore, but that kind of stress hands go clammy and can't even talk, let alone shout!

Puzzled by Puzzles! said...

I am guilty of that too. It escalates around 8pm. :P :(

Lilian said...

The past two days, including this evening, have had shouting matches with Brian. Dunno what's gotten into him. He claims I'm the one who's unreasonable. Oh well, I told him he's getting into arguments with Sean, with me, and with his who's the common link here? Makes me pine for PSLE-days LOL! Being aimless is making both of us more impatient with each other. Such a strange development!

bACk in GERMANY said...

Think you need your off-time. Hugs, take care!