Friday, October 02, 2009

Reward chart....without the reward :)

This evening, after dinner, Sean suddenly came up to me with an idea. He suggested having a chart that starts with 100 points and for every misdeed, points get deducted. I was intrigued...I was wondering what he had up his sleeves.

I asked him if he would have points added for being good. He replied, "You don't need to add points if I'm good."

Before I move on, I have to say I've never been one for reward/sticker charts. Probably cos I'm not organised enough. But I remember trying it out with Brian when he was little and he soon started coming up to me to report on the good things he was doing, hoping I'd add a star or something. That didn't seem right to me, my view is that behaving well should be something expected of them, so why should they be rewarded for that? Of course, I do praise them when I notice them doing good things (when I remember lah).

The boys have been bickering lots every mealtime. Brian doesn't wait for Sean to get to the table before saying Grace, and Sean refuses to say "Korkor chi (eat)" when this happens. I was actually wondering while cleaning up today on how to resolve this. And then, Sean came up with this idea, maybe he sensed my exasperation.

Anyway, I told him if I deduct points for his chart, I should also add points if he's being good. Then I asked him, "So what happens at the end of the week, after we have the final score?" He said, "Nothing"

"Nothing?? Then what's the point?" I asked.

"So that I'll remember to be good," came his reply.

"But what if you get many points cos you've been so good?"

"Nothing. I don't need a prize," he said.

"You don't need a reward? Really?"


Hmmmm....I found this a bit strange. What if you have very little points?

He thought for a while, then said, mmm, okay then you can smack my backside.

DEAL! A 'reward' chart without rewards, that sounds like a good bargain for me hehehe.

This chart thing is supposed to start on Monday and so far this is what he's come up with for point deduction.

- Check Mousehunt without mummy's permission: -10
- Disturb Korkor: -20
- Jump on the bed: -5
- Beat Korkor: -12
- Say Grace before korkor comes to the table: -8
- Shout at Korkor: -50
- Disturb Mummy: -40
- Disturb Korkor and Mummy: -60
- Try to get Korkor to play tortoise talk when he's doing his work: -80
- Don't listen to Mummy: -99
- Don't listen to Korkor: -88
- Go into Korkor's room when he's working without permission: -90
- Lock the door to Mummy's room so Korkor can't get in: -100
- Don't say "Kor kor chi": -15
- Say bad things about Korkor: -48

That's the list of misdeeds he can think of for now. I'm sure there'll be more by Monday :)

I've already thought of some
- Don't brush teeth before breakfast: -20
- Don't bathe myself: -20
- Don't put dirty clothes in the laundry basket: -40

I can't really think of anything for adding points...I guess we'll just stick to deducting points only then :) But looking at his point system, I think I should be kind and let him start off with 1000 points, or he'll end up with a sore backside every day of the week.


monlim said...

Wah, you tan dioh, reward chart no need to give reward! But seriously, I think just deducting points can be rather demoralising after a while cos you'll be focusing only on the bad stuff... maybe be more lenient about adding points so at least he has a chance of being in the black?

Anonymous said...

Charming kid you have, so sensible. :)


Theresa said...

So cute! :) I'm now running a stickers chart, esp so to control them at mealtimes, ie to finish their dinner in ard an hour and to stay in their chair. It works, but I've kinda slacked off a little cos feeding them lollies or Mamee or buying them a present (ie rewards) seems to be happening too quickly :P So I like this idea, reward chart with no reward :)

Anonymous said...

Can't help but notice that the highly possible acts which he will mostly like do are those with the least points to be deducted....

Puzzled by Puzzles! said...

This is so cute!! I think he is having fun drawing up the chart and assigning point deductions! I like the -99 points for disturbing mommy! LOL. I can see that the "Kor Kor" gets disturbed alot too. In our house, ds is the VIP. ie. the "very irritating person". I will let ds have a look at Sean's chart. Hopefully, he will learn something! Heehee.

Lilian said...

How did I miss all these comments? Comments usually come through to my email but these didn't. Maybe cos I've been getting spam comments with Chinese/Korean words.

Mon: I'm very lenient one lah, always pang chan him, in fact, I let him start off at 500 every day. Just a day after we started this, Brian started using this to threaten Sean, kept deducting points like nobody's business till I had to tell him it's not for him to deduct Sean's points, I will decide.

QX: Thanks, sometimes sensible, sometimes totally not.

Theresa: I remember doing some sticker chart with Brian or maybe it was just a tick chart, it works for a while until they catch on and expect stuff for doing things they ought to be doing anyway.

Anonymous: You are very observant LOL! I came back from lunch one day and he said, "I only have 200 points left cos I was playing Bejewelled and sounding the Mousehunt horn." So he knows he's not supposed to do these things but the point deduction is minimal so he knows he won't get a smack on the bottom as long as he's in the black. I think I'm being taken for a ride!

Sandy: Sean's definitely the VIP, I think all younger siblings are. He refrained as much as he could from disturbing korkor during PSLE period and is now being rewarded with 1 week of tortoise talk :)