Tuesday, October 21, 2008

English: Free choice compo

A break from Math. This was one of the last compositions done by Brian in UK, no date on the exercise book, but should be in June 2007. Not marked yet either, probably not handed up. He could write about anything he wanted. He chose to write a story about dinosaurs.

Here it is. Reads like something out of Calvin & Hobbes. And again, we have the mother shouting at the kid (yalah yalah, I know I'm always scolding you!).



"Mark, your room is a disgrace! Go and tidy it up at once!" shouted Mark's mum.

"But Mom - " Mark was interrupted by more shouts.

"Just tidy your room!"

Mark dug out a dinosaur from under his bed. It was dark green with a very long tail. It had two perfectly symmetrical pearls for eyes.

Mark pressed one of them and the mouth opened to reveal some colours that swirled as if they were in a whirlpool.

Then, without warning, Mark plunged straight into the mass of swirling colours.

Mark plunged straight into the mass of swirling colours

Chapter 2: CAPTURED!

Mark reappeared in a hot and humid place. He was in the jungle. He decided to look around for things that might be useful.

Suddenly he felt tired. He tried not to sleep but his eyes eventually closed against his will.

Mark woke up ten metres above the ground. He realized he was moving. Suddenly he found out that he was being carried inside the claws of a T-rex!

The size of T-rex compared to Mark

Mark considered slipping out of its grasp, but with one claw a hair's breadth from his neck he quickly forgot about his idea.

He saw a herd of dinosaurs grouped together.

Mark was taken to the centre. A brontosaurus spoke and Mark found he could understand it.

"You should be humiliated, tortured, and finally killed. The T-rex's decision is final!"

Chapter 3: DEFIANCE

The T-rex reached out to prod Mark in one direction.

Mark slapped its claw away. "Get off me, you big fat dozy lump!"

Mark slapped its claw away...

A whoop of delight from other dinosaurs told Mark that the T-rex was a tyrant.

The T-rex growled angrily and said, "Tomorrow I shall challenge you to an ability contest. The loser shall be banished into the jungle forever!"


It was the day of the contest and Mark still didn't know what to do. As Mark looked down at the Super Sticky Toffees he always had with him, he had the faintest of ideas.

Then Mark heard the Brontosaurus say, "Let the contest begin!"

Two criminal Diplodocuses were led out.

The T-rex grabbed one and swallowed it in one gulp.

Mark gulped, too. How was he going to beat that?

TThe T-rex grabbed one and swallowed it in one gulp.

He put four toffees and made Diplodocus stand with one foot on each toffee. No matter how much it tried, it couldn't move!

"Now would every dinosaur stand behind the person they want to win," said the Brontosaurus.

Mark looked behind him. All the dinosaurs were standing behind Mark.

The Brontosaurus said, "In a dominating performance, Mark is the winner!"

No matter how much it tried, it couldn't move!

The T-rex stormed into the jungle, but from the look on its face Mark knew they would meet again.

Just then a Triceratops came running up. It said, "King Mark! King Mark!" "The eagles are attacking us!"

Chapter 5: THE CHASE

Mark had a plan.

He said, "Pteranadon, fly only where I tell you to. You'll have me on your back, so be careful. Velociraptors, if an eagle becomes helpless, attack it. Triceratops, if an eagle gets too close to me, charge into it."

Mark hopped onto the Pteranodon's back and it flew away.

Mark hopped onto the Pteranodon's back and it flew away.

Mark popped up behind an eagle. "Hello, you feathery fatbellies! Those beaks of yours couldn't slice a leaf!"

Mark flew into the jungle with the eagles chasing after him. The Pteranadon dodged past the tree trunks with amazing agility.

The eagles, however, stuck like feathered twigs into the tree trunks, where they were attacked by some Velociraptors.

Before Mark had reached the end of the jungle all the eagles were dead. Mark and his companions gave a cheer.

The eagles were defeated!

Chapter 6: ESCAPE!

That night, in the middle of the celebrations Mark slipped away. He had to get back to the present.

Besides, the dinosaurs would probably make him marry a girl dinosaur.

Besides, the dinosaurs would probably make him marry a girl dinosaur.

Suddenly the T-rex jumped out of a bush, grabbed Mark and dropped him into his mouth!

The T-rex had had its revenge.

Chapter 7: SAFE

Mark reappeared in his own room.

At first, he couldn't understand what had happened.

Then he realized that the T-rex's mouth was the portal to the present and life was perfect again.

Mark looked at the piles of toys surrounding the room. Well, almost perfect anyway.


Anonymous said...

If your son is taking the PSLE, there will be two parts to Paper 1 - situational writing and continuous writing.

This year, the situational writing requires the student to write an appeal letter to the neighbours on her lost rabbit.

For continuous writing, students chose either the picture composition which was a picture of a boy falling into a hole in the field. Or the situational topic which goes something like this: "you and your father were waiting in the lift lobby when all of a sudden, you saw a man pushing your elderly neighbour into the lift..."


Lilian said...

Thanks for the info MD. The last time he looked at a Singapore English assessment book was 3 years ago maybe. And he's definitely never done any composition practice from such books.

There's no point for me setting him practice compo, cos his creative writing juices seem to flow only when he's given assignments by his teachers. But he should definitely start taking a look at how to write proper letters, yikes, he's gonna hate it.

I think he'd have liked to write about the picture of the boy falling into a hole in the field, though time management is something he's gotta learn cos I always have to tell him to stop writing and start thinking of the conclusion.

Anonymous said...

Here's something interesting to read on composition writing:



Lilian said...

Thanks MD, will get Brian to read through that site. Useful even if not preparing for PSLE.

Anonymous said...

He's very imaginative & so funny!

I wonder how they test & grade English papers in UK, for the elementary level?


Lilian said...

I'm not sure if they have compositions in elementary school exams in UK. For classroom work, he always got encouraging words from his teachers, of if anything is found wanting, they'll write, "You should try to describe more about what happened" or "Maybe next time you could write more about how the character felt" etc; no grading or marks. I think it's very much anything goes.

Anonymous said...

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -- Albert Einstein.


bACk in GERMANY said...

What a compelling dino tale!
My Bryan would love to hear this story... I'm gonna read this to him! In fact, I think I'd have Bryan's kindergarten class teacher read this to the class... Print this out and send into class when we're back from the long weekend... yay!
All the kids will look up to Brian kor-kor!

Lilian said...

That'll be great man...let me know Bryan's response, and his friends' too...where you off to again this time?

bACk in GERMANY said...

Seriously Lil', have you thought of sending this piece of writing to a publisher? You know you'd have many opportunities here at the Frankfurt Bookfair the last weekend. And I did see many publishers looking for children's stories!

Hee... imagine Brian strolling up to one of the guys at the stand asking if his book would be published... don't you feel proud of your boy? :)

Lilian said...

"And I did see many publishers looking for children's stories!"

Wah really ah? We'd do it for free man!...Just to see the book published. How cool would that be!

No lobang leh...