Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Silly the Fish by Sean Leong

Yesterday morning, Sean got all whiney while putting on his PE shoes (which were too tight) for school. I got a bit crazylah (okay a lot crazy), and he started crying. Eddie quickly said "Okay, nevermind, Sean has runny nose, so he can stay home".

After Eddie and Brian left, I ignored Sean for about an hour. He later came by and asked what he should do. I was determined not to give him a free pass for skipping school. I've also been wanting him to practise some handwriting, something we haven't gotten round to doing. So I said, go write a story, any story.

He whined, "But I don't know what to write"....I said just write whatever. He said, "Fine, I'll just write words." So that's what he did for ten minutes.



Words also can lah...as long as he's writing something. TherMORmeter cos that's how we pronounce it in our house :)

Now that he's warmed up, I suggested again that he write a story, any story. In a good mood, he started on Chapeter 1, I mean Chapter 1.



Chapeter 1 Silly the fish

Once upon a time, there was a silly fish. The fish,s name was silly. on wednsdays, he would stay at home. even though fish school is on Thursdays. one day, as he was swimming home from school, he fainted. why? find out in the next chapter.


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Yeah, that's a promising start, isn't it? So he doesn't know where to place his apostrophes...I wasn't about to correct him at this stage. The little fella has a mighty thin skin, if I point out any error or spelling mistakes or story inconsistencies, he would have stopped writing, immediately. No amount of cajoling would have helped.

He gets a 30 min break to read Calvin & Hobbes after completing each chapter. As he takes less than 10 min to write each page, I think it's a very good deal.
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Chapter 2: The time machine

the fish was a 129 years old. the fish was so surprised that he fainted. soon everyone started to faint. what was causing this? whatever it was, someone had to stop it. a few hours Later, Silly woke up. But everyone continued to sleep. Even his mother. his brother and father were The only ones who got protected. They splashed water over Silly,s face, and that,s how he woke up.


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I liked how he said a one hundred and twenty nine :) Seeing that he was getting in the groove of things, I told him the difference between apostrophe and comma. He wasn't happy, and went "Awwww..." so I said, nevermind, doesn't matter, go read your Calvin&Hobbes.
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Chapter 3: the hidden mystery

Silly, his father, and his brother went off to see what was happening. They soon saw a coral, and on part of the coral said, Keep out anyone who finds this. But they didn't listen to that rule. Instead they made the daddy lift up the heavy square because only he had enough energy to lift it up. They saw a hole. They swam into the hole and cLosed the entrance.


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Someone's been watching Finding Nemo once too often.
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Chapter 4: The secret coral

Inside they saw boxes saying: This may Look Like food, but it's actually a tIme machine that only works inside body's. They Kept swimming. at the end of the corridor, they saw a gigantic blocK. They saw a button and Silly pushed it. The gigantic blocK broKe apart and they swam in. Inside they saw finished tIme machines and finished wooden boxes.


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Someone has been reading too much Calvin&Hobbes (yeah, besides transmogifiers & duplicators, C&H has time machines too).
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Chapter 5: How they maKe IT

They were making time machines and when the inside time machine was finished, the outside time machine was put on the inside time machine and the outside time machine was the thing that made the time machine look Like food. Very soon they began to see a door that said: room 100. control room. Keep out!


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Confused? I don't get it either. It all makes sense to Sean though.
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Chapter 6: who is controlling this?

they opened the door and they saw Silly's uncle. Uncle! said Silly. What are you doing here? his uncle explained, I've been making machines that maKe them faint so the queue in the shopping mall won't be so long. So that's why your,e always late. saId Silly. But won,t you be here? said Silly. Oh yeah, I forgot. said Silly,s uncle.

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Sean wrote this after we took a long afternoon nap and Brian had returned from school, and I think he started losing interest in his story as he wanted to play with korkor. I'll try to make some sense of this; he's saying that Silly's uncle made machines that cause others to faint cos he was always late due to long queues at shopping malls! But Silly told his uncle he would faint too since he's there with everyone. As I said, all this made perfect sense to my 6-year old.
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Chapter 7: It was all Just a dream

I,d never know that I forgot to make a copie of myself If you didn't tell me that. said Silly,s uncle. and Just before Silly could say oh, the whole thing went Poof! and he found himself in his bedroom. his mother said Silly! Iv,e made your breakfast! the end


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OMG what a cop-out ending! It's all just a dream??! That's the laziest way to end a story...didn't Jack Neo use the same trick for Money No Enough?

Brian laughed when he read Sean's story and went, "What was the point of the time machine? And how can Silly's father splash water on him when they're all underwater?" Aiyah, give chance lah, this is just the first edit, when the full script is completed, it could well be the next Pixar box-office hit! :)

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9 comments:

monlim said...

You've got another genius on your hands. Andre can't write half as coherently (and spell too! corridor???) even though he knows his aprostrophes and his commas.

bACk in GERMANY said...

Lilian, you really should let Sean skip school more often... in that way, you won't have to fear that his brain might be rotting in school!

I hope I don't sound too fake with my praises... Sean, you do write well! Aunty PP can't wait to read your books!

I think it's pretty cool to make people faint so that there won't be long queues at shopping malls. e.g. I also hate long queues at the supermarket. But where will I find someone to check out my groceries if everyone is passed out??? Darn, now I have to wait for someone to wake up!!! Ok lah... still think your time/fainiting machine is cute, just teasing you!

Alcovelet said...

Really interesting, Sean! And very funny too! He's got great handwriting!

Lilian said...

All the aunties are so kind, Sean will be thrilled that there are actually people who appreciate his story-telling 'prowess'! haha.

PP, easylah, just scoot off with the groceries for FREE! Shiok right?

bACk in GERMANY said...

Sean,
Cannot just scoot off with the freebies... cos Aunty PP is one of those aunties who will wake up in cold sweats at night, thinking the supermarket has sent some thugs to her house to get the groceries back!!! *Very very scared*

Lilian said...

Such a law-abiding person, you should have been born a German!

bACk in GERMANY said...

Maybe that was why my mom weaned me with potatoes and carrots but not with rice porridge! :o)

Hsien Lei said...

Impressive! Beautiful handwriting. He's budding writer!

Lilian said...

Writer? riiight...but he wants to be a scientist like Auntie Hsien.